Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

C Zak — Tue, 13 May 2008 14:26:04 GMT

I am not one for making women feel bad about themselves, but its true that many moms let themselves go and no longer care about their appearance (much to the dismay of their husbands, who no doubt feel neglected enough when the kids come along and steal all their wives' attention). You need to value yourself and take care of yourself in order to be the best parent you can be . . . So a little encouragement toward believing it's possible in less time and for less money than they think may not be a bad thing . . .

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rob, Omaha — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:12:14 GMT

I think Suave is on target with this message. What you failed to mention in their ad is at the end, the mom looks phenomenal with her kids in tow. It's not an either/or decision, the modern mom can have both.

I think they've identified with the modern mom pretty effectively, and this ad will resonate with that market.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Lisa Feldman, Baltimore, Md — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:17:46 GMT

A better commercial would be a healthy looking mom (weight appropriate) who is giving organic whole grain cereal to her child (rather than sugar) and thus has more time to spend exercising herself and doing her hair because her child is not hyperactive. The idea that a mom can improve her life by spending either 1.00 or 200$ on her hair is absurd and this is yet another way that our culture cons women into believing that they should spend their hard-earned money on their appearance.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

mom anywhere usa — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:19:47 GMT

It's not just moms who let themselves go. It's dads too. Why is it acceptable for men to let themselves go or even age naturally while women are expected to look 21 all their lives? I am pregnant with my fifth child. I have always lost all my baby weight. I can't do anything about the stretch marks, but I try to take care of myself and at least resemble the person he married almost 20 years ago. My husband on the other hand, while still very handsome, has put on and kept on about 50 lbs. While women and moms shouldn't be expected to look like it's "date night" all the time, I feel it is unfair to your spouse to totally let yourself go.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KyoungVermont — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:34:15 GMT

Have either of you tried to be at least four of the following list at any one time: cook, pastry chef, maid, taxi-cab driver, author, disciplinarian, friend, laundress, pet groomer/caregiver, professional grocery planner and shopper, party planner, gift purchaser (birthday parties, christmas, anniversaries, etc.), volunteer (at school event or otherwise), counselor, nurse/physician (primary care and ER services), vehicle cleaner(inside and out), editor, teacher (all subjects and specialties), financial analyst, college planner and financier,........Should I go on? These are tasks which are included in being a mom but this is by no means a complete list. Add to that the duties of full-time employment, being a spouse and/or student (also not a complete list of other possible duties) and you have some of the roles mothers play. Until you can be all those people at once and maintain a perfect body, hair, nails and attitude, DO NOT tell mothers that they should be able to do it all (Rosie the Riveter and June Cleaver in one). I am sure there are many men/fathers out there that do some or all of those roles but the vast majority of them are women. Do you really care whether we look perfect or not when you partaking in the spoils of our sacrifice? Here is a suggestion: go to the woman in your life (your spouse or mother) and tell HER that she needs to do more to keep up her appearances......email me and tell me what she has said. That is if she does not engage in one of the other roles we often must resort to, gladiator!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Karen H, Auburn, WA — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:48:03 GMT

Sheesh. Let's think about this: Mom comes home from a full day's work, on the way from home picks up the kids from school or sports or other extracurricular activities, as soon as she enters the house, goes straight for the kitchen to cook up a meal. Meanwhile, Dad comes home, puts up his feet, clicks on the TV, feels neglected and wonders why she's let herself go?

Give me a break. Heck, give Moms a break. The Suave commercials would do better to have the Dad take a load off the poor woman's back and say, "Honey, do something nice for yourself."

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

TD, WV — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:48:28 GMT

Notice both of the first stupid comments were by men and I'll bet anything they changed a diaper once and felt like superman. Why's mom taking out the garbage. Where's the husband? The mother's in the commercial are overwhelmed by job, children, house, husband and the answer is to use Suave to pretty-up? Get the man to help!

I may have to downgrade products during the recession, but it darned well won't be from Pantene to Suave. I'll go to White Rain frst.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Judy Alvarado, Greenwood Mo — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:55:48 GMT

Yea Whatever. Working professional, Mom, handyperson, cook, cleaning woman and all the extra money goes to the kids school, sports, activities, and the all too popular fundraisers that we parents support.

Extra time.....Extra money and then you say you should have beautiful hair, pamper nails and designer clothes. Not in my neighborhood.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jaime C., Detroit MI — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:18:51 GMT

KyoungVermont - I just printed out your comment and am handing it out to everyone that asks me why I don't get highlights. To everyone that thinks Suave has it right, and that Moms should "take care of themselves", I'd really like to see you try one of my days and see how pretty you look by the end!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

D, Boise ID — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:50:46 GMT

Hey Rob & C Zak -- oh the pain and distress of the modern husband! Those gosh darn those little rug rats (and the job, and the house, and the . . .) take up so much of mommy's time and energy, she can't see to all your needs.

And maybe, just maybe, Suave would see a sales jump if they'd spend a little more in R&D and less insulting their target market.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

BT, Memphis, TN — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:54:29 GMT

What about dads?

Any good father does most of those things listed by Kyoung. The cooking and laundry are likely still done by the female of the household, but I do everything else in the list, plus ... mechanic, lawn care, landscaping, pool cleaning, appliance repair, electrician, roofing, gutter cleaning, painter, coach, etc.

For years women have been listing how hard they work and how they are under appreciated. Any good parent works their butts off to provide for their family, both at work and at home. If you are doing all of the listed things here, plus more, and your spouse does next to nothing ... add stupid to the list.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Chris, DSM IA — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:19:34 GMT

I am a single mom - not by choice, but I make the best of it. I will tell you I will delay getting new clothes until mine are worn out, hair products only when needed, delay any indulgent purchases I may want just so my kids can wear clean decent clothes and have decent shoes. Notice I didn't say I buy them everything or brand names - I frequently tell them NO, and when they ask why - Because you don't need it and I don't have the money to spend on it. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking life is easy and they are spoiled. Pampering myself only leads me to later question the value of that purchase and if it was worth it. I would rather be grungy and happy then pampered and poor.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

LH, Metroplex, Texas — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:23:47 GMT

I've got to admit, i laughed my butt off about the top two men's comments as well as the rest of the women who ticked off the lists of "hats" that mothers wear. Sadly, that commercial is a prime example of what society states a woman HAS to be - everything PLUS look like a freakin' perfect mannequin! Why does society dictate that we women must be the perfect mother, homemaker, friend, employee/boss AND sex kitten extrodinaire for our husbands? I think a dose of realism would do the world a LOT of good. I mean, come on! If they're going to portray a married woman with kids, why not show her spouse as a productive member of the marriage who contributes? There are a lot of husbands out there who take active roles in the daily responsibilities of a marriage and a family. The commercial just makes it seem as though the woman just got all the responsibilities dumped on her, as though her spouse isn't a supportive person in the relationship. Talk about stereotyping.
As far as Suave taking us from drab to glam with a simple wash? Puh-lease! i need a lot more than shampoo and a shower! :) and i definitely don't use Suave. lol

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rand, Hickory, NC — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:27:43 GMT

What's next? Suave trying to sell it's product with a femme prison commercial? I can imagine it now... 3 seconds of the "Ya know, it's hard to look sexy in an orange jumpsuit".... ...(20 seconds of fodder including a routine of a sexy-broadway style musical with real inmates... then 4-6 seconds of the suave logo.

Brilliant. I need a job doing advertising.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KA Stevens — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:29:48 GMT

You know, while I can definitely agree on the level of tasks, to do's and a myraid of other things on a Mom's "Most Important" List; I do have to agree with a number of posters here that many Mom's DO let themselves go - and join the "I want to look natural" group.

I am a Mom of 2; Professional Software Architect; business owner; horse owner (barn chick cleaning 4 stalls daily). Despite the typical 16+ hour day, everyday I put on fresh, flattering clothes, do my hair and apply some cosmetics - enough so my husband is well aware I am his wife, not his brother. I do this not only for my husband (which is untimately for me) but for me and the whole family.

Why do I say that my looking put together - if not always professional is important to the family? Because it reflects on the family - your husband in social circles (ever run into an Exec from your DH's company or their spouse at the grocery/soccer/tutor's? I have - and I feel more confident when I have my "game face" on.

When you show up at your child's school for a PTA meeting, Room Mom (yes, I do schedule time for this) or teacher conference in your sweats and bunny slippers, it makes you child look bad - sorry - it is true - first impressions are the only impression you get to make.

It is all about confidence. When you know you look good (not "date" night or fashinista) you walk taller. You project an image of confident ability. When you look like a schlumpy, frumpy, dowdy housekeeper, peoplke assume you are a slob.

Sorry ladies - I know I will get roasted for this - but I don't care: the truth hurts. Your au natural face is not (in most cases) the best you can look. A light quick cosmetically enhanced look is simple and important. I don't mean full-on war paint. Tinted moisturizer or mineral powder foundation a little bronzer, mascara and lip gloss is the difference between looking old and tired - or young and fresh. You can do this in 5 minutes flat and there is NO ONE that doesn't have 5 minutes to themselves to feel pretty and confident.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Stephanie, Kent WA — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:32:12 GMT

KA Stevens, I completely agree with you. I firmly beleive that everyone should make an effort to appear that they did more than just roll out of bed. I agree on all of your points, 100%. And yes, I am a woman.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Amanda, OK City, OK — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:38:29 GMT

Wanted to respond sooner, but I was at the spa! HA! I'm sad for all the mom's whose husbands don't help out with the home and the children. My man is fabuluous at helping out, even after a long day at work, and for that reason, I do try to run a comb through my hair and splash on some lipstick before he comes in the door. I have six kids, and the lesson I've learned is that you don't want the children to think they're the center of the universe. They learned early on that I DO take time to do things for myself, and they are patient when I do. I promise you, if you wait to try and teach them this when they're teanagers, you'll have your hands full. By then it's too late. I don't agree with Suave trying to play on women's guilt. On the other hand, women should be in the business of raising well rounded children, and staying well rounded themselves.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

eve, saratoga, california — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:16:56 GMT

ka, feeling confident should be a choice. maybe it comes for you when you apply a little makeup and that's fine. but consider the fact that you just spent your first impression here on this page telling us all that no one will like you unless you're pretty.

just like suave. i think there is something wrong with our culture when confidence comes from a bottle. don't they often call alcohol liquid courage? maybe it's time we examined all our addictions, instead of telling strangers they are choices. can you choose to go to the grocery store without shaving your legs?

now that takes confidence, sweetie.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Leela, Chandler, AZ — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:34:28 GMT

I don't need a "game face" to have confidence in the person that I am. I'm prefectly happy with the face god gave me. I don't wear make-up, high heels, pretty dresses. I wear jeans, sneakers, nice tops and wash my hair every day (but not with suave anymore). I am who I am... if anyone feels I need to be super-model to boot, I don't need them.
Just because I don't spend a lot of time prepping myself, doesn't mean I'm frumpy or an underachiever. I have a career, kids and someone who loves me. And they love the person I am... not someone I dress up, make up and pretend to be.
But each women is different and we all have different needs. That is what is so wonderful about us, but I do resent a company coming in and telling me my choice is the wrong one. That I need to be this "other" type of person. That is just rude and I will no longer buy suave products.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Bewitched — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:47:37 GMT

It's sad how many people think this commercial is bad. If i showed up to work constantly in sweats and my hair amess I would get fired. Just ask these women how busy they are and then ask what is happening in their favorite Soap or what Oprah has to say about something.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KA Stevens, Texas — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:17:14 GMT

Eve -

That is a pretty pretentious comment. I feel confident naked - but it doesn't mean I choose to walk around outside that way. Same goes for cosmetics.

No one at 40 has perfect skin tone, zero wrinkles. (sans surgery) Some judiciously applied cosmetics make you look more attractive - period. There is not one woman of interesting age that this is not true for.

What takes real confidence is facing the world as a pregnant widow and pushing to the top in a male dominated field - all so your child has a positive successful, ethical role model for a Mom. I do occasionally go to work (and the grocery) with unshaven legs - by choice - in a skirted suit (always) - WITH pantyhose (why a skirt? Because I choose to be feminine and successful - in a "man's" world.) Yet still take home a great salary - all while juggling the kids, the new hubby, house, horses, owning a successful business...

I'm no super Mom - and don't pretend to be. I mess up royally sometimes - we all do. It'd be nice to be liked - or respected - on this board, but I don't expect everyone will. My shoot from the hip, Yankee cowgirl attitude isn't to everyone's taste - but, that is who I am and I don't pretend for anyone.

The fact remains, some Mom's let themselves go. Some look like washed out men with breasts. "Choose" to look as you like...bottom line, without a little care and attention; even the most beautiful 20-something "earth mother" gets to looking a little....haggard around the edges.

Some might like that washed-out dead look. Me? I prefer shooting for "pretty" - not because society says I have to – because I LIKE being pretty – who doesn’t?

Best of luck whatever your choice.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KA Stevens, Texas — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:30:29 GMT

Oh - and just a note:

Last week, my son has a Band Competition at an outside venue. They performed at 9:30. It had poured down rain that morning. I had a client meeting at lunchtime, but definitely was going to this performance. So, I dressed for work - skirt, jacket, hose,hair, makeup - wore rain boots, took pumps. (I don't like high heels, short ones are much more comfy)

It was amazing. I was the ONLY Mom who was dressed up. All the other Moms wore jeans (great if you are staying home - I wasn't), sweats, one had on PJ's and slippers. My son, and the brass section came out of the arena and the group said, "wow, Mrs. S - you look nice". My son? he said "Thanks, Mom, you do look nice."

Now, I know all those who don't want to "dress up" and be a "super model" won't get it, but it matters to let your child know that dressing nicely and caring about the image you project in public (no - that is NOT pretending anything) makes a difference in life. If you don't see that - it's really too bad.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Heather, Kansas City, MO — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:00:18 GMT

Come on people. It is just a commercial that I find funny and not in the least bit offensive. It is a commercial and they are trying to sell a product using humor, fantasy (remember the Calgon commercials of the 70s and 80s?) and a subject to which most women can relate (again, Calgon). If you are offended by the subject matter of the commercial, turn off the tv, radio, etc., when the commercial comes on or don't buy the products.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Amanda, OK City, OK — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:14:29 GMT

I didn't say "no one will like me unless I'm pretty". I said, I take time to care for the beautiful face and body Heavenly Father gave to me. I take care of myself because I care about me. Not because no one will like me if I'm not pretty. Some people own fancy cars and spend a lot of time cleaning, waxing and buffing. Some people are proud of the homes they have saved years to buy, so they take a great deal of time decorating and having the landscaping done. My physical body is a gift that needs to be taken care of, even more so than any of these material things. I take care of myself becasue my physical body is a reflection of who I am inside. To let myself go would be to disrespect me.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Elizabeth, Exton, PA — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:09:35 GMT

Feminism, yoo-hoo, feminism, where are you? Definitely not in a bottle of Suave.

To Ka and everyone who agrees with her:

Confidence can really only come from your own sense of self-worth--and if your own worth is based on an external, material, and cosmetically manipulated image, you are a fraud.

Another article today on MSNBC talks about the high rate of depression among girls--these are probably your daughters and all the other daughters of women and men who believe (and thus instill the belief in their young ones) that some ridiculous predetermined notion of "beauty" is so all important.

Thank G-d for Xanax!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Paula, Boise Idaho — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:14:37 GMT

Good grief, this is a discussion about a commercial, 30 seconds long(max) and women still find things to take personally offensive. This isn't about you, this isn't about me. This is about marketing.

Reading some of these comments reminds me of the song lyrics "you're so vain, you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you..you're so vain..."

This reminds me of the big "Christian" outcry against the fictional movie 'Golden Compass'.

30 seconds, thats it. The commercial is 30 seconds long and now there's a forum for it. Good Lord don't people have better things to ponder?

Ok, now I'm a loser too!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Leanne, FL — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:46:50 GMT

Heather, I totally agree. I love this commercial and think it's funny! I am a mom of 3 who can see herself in this woman's transformation. It's easy to focus on the kids and the house and the errands and not pay attention to how you look. This commercial is a funny way to remind moms that you can get yourself back from the demands of mommyhood. Lighten up, people!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

50 and smiling, San Diego, CA — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:59:30 GMT

Oh please ladies - don't be so defensive. I am a mother of four, have been a stay at home mom, worked full time and been a business owner over the 28 years of marriage. I've always battled my weight but wear clothes that work. It takes very little time to look like you care. While Suave may not be the answer - get an easy haircut - as opposed the the fall back pony tail put on a little mascara lipstick and a smile. Husbands are doing more to pitch in now than ever before and they need to do their part to keep healthy too. But seriously take 5 minutes for yourself and keep some lipstick or lip gloss in the car, purse, desk. Give yourself a little pick me up.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

eve, saratoga, california — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:16:19 GMT

well, maybe i don't own any horses but my husband knows i'm not his brother. there is a happy medium in here.

first impressions are important. and if you are as confident as you say, i'm kind of surprised that some stranger's comment on the internet riled you up so much.

it speaks volumes. i get that dressing up on special occasions is important and so is taking care of yourself, but that isn't what you said initially. why are you standing up for a commercial? i'm not commenting on your life, which sounds very nice and all, just what you said.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Marla Idaho Falls, ID — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:19:45 GMT

This commercial is the fantasy that every mom would like to have. Step in the shower and suddenly we look great. Well if this product is going to help me achieve "that look" in less time woo-hoo. It is funny and light hearted and reminds me of how I felt when I was 20 w/out kids hanging on each arm, trying to catch the eye of my future husband. And yes my husband does a double take when I have clean hair and am "made-up".

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KA Stevens, Texas — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:22:41 GMT

QUOTE: "Confidence can really only come from your own sense of self-worth--and if your own worth is based on an external, material, and cosmetically manipulated image, you are a fraud."

"And they love the person I am... not someone I dress up, make up and pretend to be."

....these are probably your daughters and all the other daughters of women and men who believe ...that some ridiculous predetermined notion of "beauty" is so all important."

Elizabeth - and others.

It is disappointing that you may have misinterpreted my statements. My self-worth has nothing to do with what I have on, don't have on, own, drive or any of the other assumptions you feel free to make about me or any other women who like to dress up every day and use cosmetics to enhance our natural beauty - on the outside. Not needing anything to enhance what we are on the inside makes us sincere women of integrity - the opposite of a "fraud".

Let me tell it to you straight so you don't misunderstand again. I'm a 41 year old, red-headed woman - with highlights and painted nails - who could (if I wanted) lose a pound - or 10. I don't pretend to be anyone. It took work and effort to become who I am and I love that person - including every wrinkle, stretch mark and scar.

It doesn't matter that some of you think you are being "feminist" and "strong" by rejecting cosmetics, heels, hose and dressing up. Pampering myself isn't "bad" or selfish - it shows respect for me - by giving myself time to recharge; it shows respect for my husband - I'm worth it, I deserve it and I love to spend that little extra time. I think that is being "feminist" - because it is MY choice.

Image matters. You may not like to hear it, but it does. It may not be fair and you can protest all you want - but I would hazard a guess that if your husband came home tomorrow and you had put a little time into your image (lip gloss, powder, mascara - 2 minutes girls) he would take a second look and notice. You may not care...but, he might.

Read the comments from the guys above. Think they are cavemen? Perhaps your guy thinks the same. Maybe not....but remember - they spend their work day exposed to sharp women who DO care about their image. Then they come home...

;-) Have a great day...whatever your choice is.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Amanda, OK City, OK — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:49:50 GMT

My mother always told me, people who ACTUALLY have money, never talk about it. However, people who are always TELLING you how much money they have, buy expensive cars, boats and houses, don't really have money. I suspect it's the same for self confidence. People who actually have confidence, don't have to spend time telling you how confident they are. People who don't have any confidence, have to be defensive about how much they have, and how feminism has made them the confident people that they are.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

L hale az — Wed, 14 May 2008 05:37:16 GMT

I love suave for everything! the garbage bag reminds me that i have that supersmelling coconut or melon or vanilla seuve as my liquid hand soap. As for my hair its colered blonde and goes down to my butt and shines like the sun. I trust it to nothing else but vanilla seuve shampoo with a touch of clarol coler touch lock in gloss (comes with coloring kit) all other shampoo for years has given me a whitecreammy residue on my scalp (not sueve)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Joan, Catskill NY — Wed, 14 May 2008 10:09:03 GMT

I am a mom, I am harried, frazzled and not looking my best 80% of the time! This is a great ad campaign, and speaks to us all.
Insulting? Not in my book. It's no different than the countless books that remind us to 'care for ourselves'. Now, one question, can we get the stylist to come over every morning??

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Cris W. — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:48:27 GMT

I don't know about other women posting here, but I am a working mother/wife - have been for what seems like forever. But when I get up in the morning I get ready for work (office work - office attire) and I look darned good. My make-up looks good, my clothes and my hair too. I look that same kind of good all day. When I get home at the end of the day I still look good. I change out of my office work clothes and put on something appropriate to cook in and clean the kitchen, etc. Jeans and a t-shirt mostly. But I still look good in them. I don't even worry about how my hair looks at that point because.... NEWS FLASH... YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK SPECTACULAR TO COOK SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!!!! There! I said it. I just don't understand how we can be persuaded that we don't look good when we actaully look appropriate for what we have had to do throughout the day.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Nicole Chardenet, Toronto, ON — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:53:12 GMT

When are they coming out with an ad to remind men that they need to stop looking like sexless boring soccer dads? I was in a relationship years ago and used to walk by soccer games looking at all these dorky-looking bald middle-aged pot-bellied men and think, "Thank God I don't have to sleep with that!" Then I found myself suddenly single and facing...all those fat slobs who let themselves go after they married and had kids. So now...no daddies! Go find some Suave commercial model. Why do men let themselves go so much?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Debbie, SD — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:32:30 GMT

Why do ladies have kids if they won't stay home with them? Yes, I'm female, yes, I stay home with my kids, yes, I make a point to look great for my husband when he gets home from a long day of work. I am his wife first and foremost..a mommy second.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jason, Laurel — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:53:52 GMT

My wife has a full time job, we have two boys, nine and three. She looks damn good! We help eachother though. Isn't that what a marriage is about? We both clean the home and we both work in the yard. If I'm home first I'll do the dishes and get dinner started, if she's home first, the same goes. If she's off from work and the lawn needs to be mown, she does it. If I'm off, the same goes. There are days when I will keep the boys with me and go do guy stuff so she can have her time and there are days she does the same for me. The point is we help eachother and she has time to take care of herself physically and emotionally. Full time job + two wild boys + full time mother + Finance & bills + household chores = cranky wife, no peace, no love life.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Lacey, Burley, Idaho — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:16:15 GMT

Yes, life is hard as a homemaker. Countless hours of redoing tasks that have been done once already that day, making money stretch, have a complete sense of unselfishness, if that is a word. Women are lazy... That is why they are leaving it up to daycares or grandparents into raising the youth. Todays women feel that they need to be the bread winner instead of teaching hand in hand to there children. But truth be known the money is always tight, if the wife is working or not. You can still be beautiful and a homemaker. Love yourself enough to look nice through out the day, even if you dont have a hot coworker there look nice for. It is the youth that will pay for the parents wrong doings. If you do not love your children, stop having them. Birth control, its not the 1960's anymore.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

J. Morgan, Jackson, Mississippi — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:36:01 GMT

I am a 38 year old mother of two and while I do try to take care of myself, I do not think that wearing makeup, etc. on a daily basis is necessary. On the weekends I often will go without makeup when going to the store. Being concerned that someone I know might be there and see me without makeup, etc. seems a little high school. As long as a woman is clean, has clean clothes on, and brushes her hair and teeth it should be enough to feel confident about herself.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Gwen Artax — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:42:03 GMT

My mother while I was growing up too time from her busy day of being a full time criminal defense lawyer to shower, try with her hair, dress well, get regular hair cuts (and even have it colored), paint her nails and work out while still getting me to my dance lessons, musical rehearsals and tutoring sessions. Its that pride in appearance that is so important, she took pride in herself and it showed in her clothing, hair and make up.

From her I've learned that its important to make yourself look good when you leave the house, make sure you're in order, that your clothing matches. Because of her I didn't show up to school in pj's on own cloths days and I know how to match my skin color when picking out make-up.

Its important as part of being female (and always has been, this is not a modern American chauvinist's construct) to remember how to be a girl, and that part of the fun is being able to take the time to make yourself pretty. Also taking that time can mean taking a moment for you, and focusing on you.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Venus Doom — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:13:05 GMT

Debbie, "a mommy second"? Really? And you're asking why the rest of us have kids if we "won't stay home with them." Sounds to me like your commitment to your children is more questionable than the rest of us "working moms."

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Patty, St. Louis, MO — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:20:29 GMT

I feel it's absolutely ridiculous to complain or say anything at all about the Suave commercials. First of all, the women don't look much better after than they did before. So what if your hair isn't perfect or you don't have gobs of makeup on. My mom wore house dresses and my dad didn't care. She was a stay at home mom & my dad would still help her around the house and in the kitchen, and this was in the 60's & 70's. Today men will cheat on you if you don't look perfect all the time, while they can look any way they want. They also expect sex all the time just because they feel you "owe" them because they feed you & give you a roof over your head. I'd bet my dad loved my mom so much more than the men love their wives today. I do have to say something that would be on the man's side: you guys like women with "meat" on their bones when they're younger, but they are the same women who grow to 250 pounds later in life. I honestly think people don't know what love between a man & a woman is anymore. It's not just the sex, wearing makeup every day, having perfect nails & hair, etc. It's a lot more than any of those things.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

eve, saratoga, california — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:37:42 GMT

ka, you are hilarious!

"It doesn't matter that some of you think you are being "feminist" and "strong" by rejecting cosmetics, heels, hose and dressing up."

fair enough. but first, you came to tell us that suave was right. i disagreed, and so did a lot of other people. now you're continuing to comment as if your choices should matter to us. here is an example:

"I'm a 41 year old, red-headed woman - with highlights and painted nails - who could (if I wanted) lose a pound - or 10. I don't pretend to be anyone. It took work and effort to become who I am and I love that person - including every wrinkle, stretch mark and scar."

personally, it doesn't matter to me if you're all wrinkly and stretchy and gray. i'm way over here in california. and if you loved who you were, maybe you would lose those ten pounds, instead of just telling us you could if you really wanted to. that's my point. why are you bragging about yourself so hard if you're really so confident? why are you telling us about all this effort as if it should matter to all of us strangers?

just like you make yourself up to go grocery shopping. there's something bad wrong here. i'm from dallas originally, and frankly, it does bug me to see people in shorts here on the west coast when they're in a five star restaurant. it is kind of disrespectful. should i traipse up and tell them so?

i mean, isn't that basically what you're doing here?
"Some might like that washed-out dead look. Me? I prefer shooting for "pretty" - not because society says I have to – because I LIKE being pretty – who doesn’t?"

thanks, washed-out and dead looking was just what i was shooting for! are you always so... uh, helpful and honest? like suave? how could we not know how ugly we are??

and kudos to cris! spaghetti and meatball night is definitely not the time for your finest ;)

unless you're ka from texas. opera gloves, of course.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rachel, Miami Beach, Florida — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:18:41 GMT

Wow...judging from the venom in some of these posts, I would think many of the women speaking here are still in high school and not the happy, successful ___________ [insert whichever label applies here] they claim to be. You're happy as a homemaker? Wonderful! What is the point in insulting those who work (by choice or necessity)? You're a working mother who likes to wear make-up and pantyhose? Great. Why say that anyone who doesn't do the same is a lesser person? Yes, it would all be so simple if the world was black and white, BUT IT IS NOT. One size does not fit all. Grow up and get past your narrow, myopic views. IT IS JUST A SILLY AD CAMPAIGN!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

C Palmisano, Murray, Ky — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:44:09 GMT

I had to laugh at the first few comments from men, don't they realize that once married a woman gains an extra 6 (or is it 7) hours of housework per week and that only grows once she has a child.

It's so unfair that women have to spend their entire lives looking their best.

Of course the women in ads and on tv look good. They all have personal trainers, stylists, are airbrushed and generally have housekeepers, nannies, butlers etc so they have the time, not to mention the money, to look good all the time.

I also agree men are getting off easy in letting themselves go. I'm not even married yet and my boyfriend has gained 20 pounds since we first began dating (4 years ago).

Has anyone else ever noticed in tv ads and several tv shows the wife is always slender and pretty and the man is usually chubby and average looking?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Roger Barton, Oklahoma City, OK — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:49:42 GMT

Stay single, don't reproduce, and you will not only reduce your environmental impact, but can get by perfectly well with only one car (or even public transit), and will have plenty of time and money to take care of yourself. If you shave your head as well (either gender), you don't even have to buy shampoo and can ignore a lot of really bad commercials.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Overpopulation, Colorado — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:24:15 GMT

"I am pregnant with my fifth child", "4 kids", 3 kids" hair products are not what you need, birth control is what is needed.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Mary M., Chicago IL — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:59:59 GMT

Give us a break! You chose to have kids,.and several of them,.you chose to get married,.you chose to sign up your darlings for all possible activities available,.you chose all this stuff,.so now you have to do it all. wha wha wha. What a bunch of cry babies! What did you people think it was going to be like to have a family? It's just like these women who are so busy planning their wedding, chosing a dress,.all high on the thought of getting married,..the show they'll put on for others to see them,..and never once stop and think,....can I live w/this guy?? Or am I marrying him just to get married? Did you all have a family because that is what society epects from you?? Wether you wanted it or not? then stop your complaining,.fix your hair, put on some make-up, take off the sweats and move on!!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

CA, Kansas City — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:08:00 GMT

can anyone watch this commercial and appreciate that it's a little funny? I mean, can you see that they're conveying how some moms feel and not neccessarily how they look or act?

I used to be a college cheerleader. Then I got married. And Pregnant. And Pregnant. And Fat. And thin again. And divorced. And remarried. And I'm a soccer/gym/dance mom. And I run a successful business. And have a new baby. And, and, and... (did I metion my kids do not go to daycare?...

So when I see this commercial I laugh. Obviously, it doesn't make me want to buy any particular product, but at the end of the chaos of my life each day, it feels very glam to shower and wash my hair - even if I look the same comingout as I did going in.

Come on, ladies, all offenses and comments aside, don't you feel good after a shower and clean hair? Sometimes I forget I am responsible for 4 other people for 10 minutes while I rejeuvenate in the shower. Then I get out, smelling and feeling good, and do it all over again.

It's an exaggeration. It's funny. It's a connection to how crazy a woman's life is and how hard we work with the feel-good prospect of a good shampoo. Get it?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

portia, SLC UT — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:14:29 GMT

I think this is just too funny! Any commercial is not going to be right on for every person. There are women in this blog wo indentify with the Suave commercial but what if you don't? Geez, I've had a hysterectomy, should I be appalled everytime an Always pad commercial comes on? If you are insulted by an ad that isn't meant to fit 100% of the population, I think you need to stress down your life. As to self confidence, as far as I'm concerned it is being happy in your own skin whether you way 90#'s or 250#'s, whether you wear make-up or bare faced. What has happened to having a sense of humor? I don't care if Ka is nicely made up to go swimming (which i personnally find humorous). Just be happy for who you are. If you aren't, change what you don't like but don't trash talk others for feeling diffently.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

JJ — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:31:42 GMT

hmmm,
In today's world, men are bombarded with sexy women every day, their wives should do what they can to look their best. Life is short, try to look good and put that food down!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

tmo, Dallas, TX — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:35:09 GMT

Wow, I think Suave is getting the response they want. This discussion board has touched on working mom vs. stay-at-home mom. How we raise our kids and the impression they have of us. Our relationships.. husbands vs. single and husbands that help and those who wine for attention.

Suave shows a lady with garbage and a stocking cap and one dressed up with fixed hair. From this we get all the ugly debates that come with being a woman.

As a marketer myself...I get a kick out of how a commercial can spark such a debate and the insecurities felt by women today.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Vici Armendariz, Fort Bragg, NC — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:38:49 GMT

i will say this once. if you are really happy with who you are, why would you feel the need to change yourself on a daily basis? ie make up, hair dye, high heels, push up bras and the like. now, i admit, i partake in most of thoseime from time to t. well, i dye my hair once a month. i love shoes, and i my chest has succumbed to gravity from being a mommy. but at the same time. i dont feel the need to 'put my face on' everyday. its already there! i wear make up maybe once a month. i dress up when i want to. i dont feel i have to. and just a thing i have noticed from most guys i know, they dont like make up as much as most women think they do. my husband likes me for me. no the paint i put on me, the clothes i wear, or that my nails are done. and having pretty polished nails isnt a requirement for scrubbing the toilet. yeah, i let myself go. the self centered, narcisistic part. i would rather spend and extra 5 minutes a day playing with my kids than spend it putting make up on.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rene' — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:00:20 GMT

My goodness, I think some of you are reading way to much in this ad. I'm a mother, lots to do ~ $ goes to house kids ~ blah blah blah. I didn't see this add as a commentary on how shabby Moms should really work on their look ~ I think the message was just that hey Sauve is cheap, just as good as the pricey stuff, so you don't have to feel guilty as a Mom getting something for yourself, we all like to feel pretty at least every once in a while!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Real Mom Prescott, AZ — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:09:51 GMT

For all you men who responded - you have no perspective and shouldn't have responded. For the moms who responded with the fake boobs, giant SUV, facial and manicured nails - you too have no perspective because you obviously don't work. Real women, with real jobs, real husbands, real kids, real bills and real responsibilites aren't offended by the commercial - trust me, we are too busy.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

PR, Vestal, NY — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:29:25 GMT

I was an ugly baby and just got fatter, older and uglier. When I saw the swan-ugly duckling-swan, yeah, I identified with it, except for the swan parts. Suave should take someone hopeless like me and give me a makeover, one frame at a time. Now THAT'S A COMMERCIAL!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Julie, Miami, FL — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:32:31 GMT

Well, I am an ad writer. And a woman. Single. No kids. Lots of animals. Lots of other commitments. The fact is, time is limited. Energy is limited (ask Einstein). So, we make choices about what we feel is important. For some, looking a certain way is important. The Suave commercial plays off this, betting women its target market (skewed older with kids) care about looking good. Dove, on the other hand, has gone another route, betting that their market (skewed younger and single) cares about inner beauty (and is tech-smart enough to make their own YouTube-style ads). Which campaign is better? The Suave ads are attracting a lot of buzz, albeit it negative. The Dove campaign attracted a lot of buzz, positive and interactive. So, from a marketing point of view (my view) the Suave campaign is probably outdated (like Calgon from the 70s and 80s as one writer here said) and entirely unoriginal in its thinking. Dove on the other hand was inspired and made integrated use of all its media. By the way, I do not work for Dove. I do not use Suave. I use a very cheap Spanish shampoo and conditioner, and Greek olive oil soap. Neither one has an ad budget - they are just good products.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Dsqard, SIerra Vista, AZ — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:38:46 GMT

Maybe Suave and Michael Salzhauer who authored "My Beautiful Mommy" could join up for the next round of commercials.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

CAC, Arlington, TX — Wed, 14 May 2008 23:02:11 GMT

Hey KA, your comment
"Perhaps your guy thinks the same. Maybe not....but remember - they spend their work day exposed to sharp women who DO care about their image. Then they come home... "

wow, if you think you have to look great because your husband sees sharp well groomed women at work all day and you have to keep him looking at home you obviously don't have much confidence in your man or your relationship and maybe even yourself. I admit I have not lost 30 pounds of my baby weight after two children. I have a master's degree and my husband tells me all the time I am probably the smartest person he knows (my background is in chem and physics). You know what he cares about? He cares that our children are going to be intelligent and well educated before they start school because I am staying home with them by choice. No, he doesn't help out that much around the house and I get very frustrated with the amount of work I have to do. But I made the choice to stay home with my children during their formative years to give them every advantage academically. When it comes time for them to go to school I will go back to work and focus on myself again. If my husband wanted one of those sharp well groomed women he sees at work everyday he wouldn't have married me with the intent of having and raising children. We had 7 years of great time together before we had children and it will return to that when our children are a little more self-reliant (they are 3 and 1 now). I have never worn make-up, I met my husband playing rugby (a sport at which I won a national championship in college), and we worked out and lifted weights together to spend time together. We were never about appearances, we were about doing things together that we both enjoyed. Looks change and fade, but the memories of the good times you spend together and the trials that you face and conquer as a team don't and that is what a relationship should be based on.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Generalist, Spokane WA — Wed, 14 May 2008 23:09:00 GMT

Sometimes I wonder what society does to itself by focusing on looks and not personality, especially when it comes to women. People of all genders need to look beyond superficial beauty (The color of the skin) and consider the personality (The content of the soul.)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Charlotte — Wed, 14 May 2008 23:10:24 GMT

Here is an idea: TURN THE DAMN TV OFF.... why would ANYONE let a commercial actually have such a dramtic impact upon their self esteem. If you don;t like it, Live by your actions and to hell with the nanny state of beauty and the commercial pimps that push the products (having said this, congratulations for the beauty industry for preying upon a weakness and profiting from it.. capitalism ROCKS! I am being totally sincere with this tstatement! all's fair in making money, love and war...)..use the brains you have to make an imformed, researched, value based opinion and stick to it.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Suzannah P, Charlestown Massachusetts — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:55 GMT

Hey KA Stevens, glad to know you can regularly work 16+ hour days on a regular basis and still look gorgeous. Many medical proffesionals would scold you for skimping on sleep, but hey if you don't need it, good for you add youself to the list of people who project unrealistic images of what a woman should be to the rest of the world ... you can join the Emaciated models, the super mom who applies to prschool the day after conceiving their child and so on.

There's only so many hours in a day and we all priortize their use as we see fit. Personally for me, a walk, or bike ride with my kids, sitting in the bleachers at a little league game and sewing a hole in a favorite stuffed animal all take prececent over putting on makeup and outfits to impress my husband's boss.

I shower and put clean, matched clothes on every day. I don't worry about running into execs from my husband's company, I have my own career to worry about. If somebody seeing me in jeans and no makeup affects HIS career, then that means he works for a sexist company and neither of us would be happy with that.

And I'm a 'techie nerd' from way back and part of the management team where I work. I encourage casual, modest dress at work and almost regularly recieve positive recognition without the benifit of perfect hair and makeup.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

kmyoung — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:13:35 GMT

My message about the commercial and response to the first 2 posts was not that women should not do things to make themselves look and/or feel nicer or prettier if they want to. I do not disagree with showering, brushing hair and teeth, wearing appropriate clothes (I am a legal secretary), etc. My only point was that women have more value than the style of their hair or the makeup on their face. We do so many other jobs (and I agree that many men/fathers do as well), that often when we have to make a choice between spending time on some aspect of beautification, other tasks may be more important (to some people). My husband (and children, too) would rather I spend time making my apple pies (I have been told they are the best!) or my homemade macaroni and cheese. If I am going to do something for myself, I would rather work on a quilt or crochet project. If any woman wants to spend the time putting on makeup and doing their hair, by all means do so. And if you want to treat me to a day a the spa, let me know!!!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kate, Birmingham, Alabama — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:36:45 GMT

If everything in the Suave commercial is real, then everybody should just ditch their diet plans and wash their hair with Sauve's products.

Guilt trip aside, the entire commercial's pretty funny. ;)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Michelle, Ann Arbor, MI — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:52:27 GMT

It takes a lot more than shampoo to remake your hair... mine must be blow-dried, flat-ironed, with product carefully applied to the ends and not the roots... you tell me a mom has time to spend 1 hour on her hair???

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

suzy in florida — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:55:04 GMT

It is a commercial, nothing more, nothing less. Do what makes you happy.marriage is a partnership if the husband doesn't pull his weight and you're ok with that then fine, but if you're whining about all you do while he does nothing then it's your own fault because you've allowed this to happen. As far as having kids and not staying home with them-again it's your choice and you know what either way it is good.There is nothing wrong with being a working mom or a stay at home mom and don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about what you choose to do either by choice or necessity. The kids will be fine .Life is what you make of it==YOU! not the whole world.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Cindy, Bute, Montana — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:16:02 GMT

Get a life. They are funny commercials.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kate, Hudson Valley, NY — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:26:48 GMT

Roger Barton wins for best comment. Add that this will shorten your shower time (thus saving water) and it will avoid the need to recycle plastic products.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Peggy Greensboro NC — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:33:26 GMT

To Debbie that tbinks that her husband comes first and her kids come second:

I don't begin to understand a woman like you. Your KIDS should ALWAYS come first, for both you and your husband. Those are HUMAN BEINGS that YOU are responsible for, you brought them into the world. If you didn't want that incredible responsibility and privilege you should have used birth control or given them up for adoption. I love my husband and he loves me but there is the understanding that the ultimate focus of our lives is our daughter. And that's the way it should be.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

John, San Diego, CA — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:37:34 GMT

Geez ladies, if you want to complain so much don't have kids. Spend less time on the cell phone, stay out of drive through lines, and better manage your time. There are lots of moms out there who do and they have better marriages and lives. I've been a house husband and still bring in 90% of the money, with three kids, it ain't easy but it's not that hard if you prioritize and don't waste time on meaningless chatter. Also if you frumpy moms would take better care of youselves the divorce rate would plummet. Guys are superficial, get over it. You married ladies need to be aware that another woman would not give a second thought to stealing you man, just a heads up. I've been married for twenty two years and have never strayed, but have been hit on by many women because I am a good supporter. So lose the weight, try to look good for us, spend less time shopping and talking about shopping, and stop your griping. Also if you have a good man, take care of his needs, and he'll take better care of yours. It's not that hard.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jenni, Chicago IL — Thu, 15 May 2008 02:47:57 GMT

I didn't get offended by this commercial. But I did laugh at it. Because, come on... no matter how cheap the product is, you're still going to have to hire a professional hairdresser to make your hair look like that every morning.

I'm a mom, and I do look pretty schleppy some days. I'm not going to put on expensive clothes just so I can get spit-up and peanut butter on them. But when we need to go out, I make the time to look presentable. I think if you make the time, it's there.

I really don't think the ad is offensive... it does what all advertising does. It pitches a product that won't work as well as they say it will, by showing unrealistic examples of how it will make your life better. Does drinking X Beer bring bikini-clad models to your house? Does wearing Y perfume result in a hot young man whispering sweet nothings in your ear? If we're going to attack Suave, we might as well attack all companies who advertise.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Tuning out and logging off, C.Springs, CO — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:12:36 GMT

Ummmm... how about taking the time you spend watching TV and emoting about commercials on-line and spending it figuring out ways you can pamper yourself just because you LOVE yourself and you deserve it? Different people take care of themselves in different ways but make time for yourself, even if it means not seeing every commercial on the tube.... and go honor your spouse while you're at it.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

MG, Lincoln NE — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:15:07 GMT

Wow...where to start! Overpopulation in CO, shut up. Thats all that needs to be said. How incredibly rude for you to comment on someone else's choice to have however many children they want! Do us all a favor and balance out the equation...dont reproduce!

KA, I completely hear where you are coming from! As a female, I like to feel like, oh, I dont know...a FEMALE! I dont know about most of the women posting here, but I like to have something separate me from any man in my life. Where as men are content to shower, shave, and brush the hair aside, I feel so much better to know that I have a fresh face for the world to see. If you choose not to do that, no skin off my back, just know that whether you like it or not, youre being judged. Is it fair? Nope! Will it happen anyway? Yep!

Bottom line is that this commercial is funny. It happens, no one can deny it. And no one can blame moms for "letting themselves go" when they have kids and have to take care of the family, but why would you want to look like that when a few minutes with a curling iron and a makeup brush can make you look amazing? I promise, ladies, its not that hard!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

OHIO — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:34:29 GMT

Some day I might sit in my PJ's all day although not very often, maybe the next I'll run on the treadmill, some days I might skip a shower, some days I dress very sexy, some days I focus only on my daughter, some days on my husband, and some days on myself. Most days it's bits and pieces of everything, which is good because it shows I have an interesting life & I have family in it that love me unconditionally! This is what I wanted for my life a family......

Whatever makes you feel good is exactly what you should do! Please yourself doing whatever that may be (looking good, spending time with your kids, a hobby, cleaning your house) - there is no wrong or right answer to the story of your life. Your husband & kids should love you for the interesting personality you have from being YOU and NOT "what should be." Right? I think everyone can admit there are times it feels good to do nothing and times when it feels good to pamper yourself (whatever vision you have of pamper) - who cares! Embrase every moment of your life and stop worring & complaining so you don't miss it!

-Go live!!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Steph, Boise, ID — Thu, 15 May 2008 05:25:30 GMT

My only complaint about this ad campaign is the fact that, even when these women are in their "ugly duckling" stage, they still look a lot more done up than I do on a regular basis! Aside from that, I love the message that I see here - "Life is hard, moms deserve to pamper themselves a bit, but you don't have to spend a lot of money to do it."

I personally use Suave, and though it doesn't make me look like a million bucks (that takes a bit more work than a simple shampoo), I do feel pampered when I can take a break from my hectic life and shampoo my hair. So, for me, this ad campaign is right on. Way to go, Suave!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kristin, Ohio — Thu, 15 May 2008 05:27:03 GMT

ALL OF You:

for being so "busy" you sure do have a lot of time to argue on the internet with a bunch of fools in a forum about a stupid commercial.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

tweeker — Thu, 15 May 2008 06:16:46 GMT

wow! there are a lot of women posting some rather LONG comments here. couldn't that time be better spent cleaning the house or something???

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Levi, Gaithersburg, MD — Thu, 15 May 2008 07:27:08 GMT

By many accounts I am a total pig when it comes to understanding women. However, I believe in the very depths of my heart that being a childs "Mommy" is the most important job in the world. I think that the Suave commercials point out a matter of great importance. There is nothing wrong with looking like you care. It is not a slap in the face of the overwhelmed mothers of the world. It is just an attempt to sell a product by making people think. This message board tells me that it might have worked. All moms are beauties. Pamper yourselves every once in a while so that you too remember that. That is all the sensitivity that my testicles can take. Thank you!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

g, wa — Thu, 15 May 2008 07:58:17 GMT

As a whole I have seen a horrible trend starting to happen, first off just understand I am not discriminate when it comes to sexes, I see our children degenerating at an alarming rate. It seems to me that with the "introduction" of a two full-time income family has unwittedly been the downfall of our families. I'm not saying women should stay at home or they should only be allowed part-time job. SOMEONE HAS TO STAY WITH THE CHILDREN! If it is the man then so be it, but letting our children grow up being raised by babysitters, daycares, or the TV is the reason we have some of the biggest problems with our children (i.e. younger mothers every year, kids shooting up schools, younger and younger felons, etc). But I also agree with what some of you are saying whomever is spending the majority of the time with the kids (me) needs to maintain some amount of presentability. I'm currently working nights in law enforcement. I use the time they are in school to sleep otherwise my wife and I are with them. Hopefully I'm not ruffling too many feathers.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

JG Portland, OR — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:45:10 GMT

Since becoming a mom I almost never do my hair, makeup or nails anymore and run around all day in my "comfies" - But I feel more gorgeous than a runway model. Why? Because I have all the confidence of being a good mom, a good employee, a good housekeeper, a good friend, a good daughter/sister/niece/etc and a smart, good woman. That means so much more to me than being pretty, sexy and shiny and I surround myself with like-minded people (and a like-minded husband!) Shame on Suave for trying to make me feel guilty for that!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jason, Laurel — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:09:06 GMT

Wow, Sounds like a few man haters on here. I'm sorry that "your" husbands are lazy and have little concern for "your" needs. But becoming over weight is not the case for all of us after becoming married and there are some of us out here that help our wives get the time they deserve to pamper themselves. It's amazing how a shampoo commercial has more than likely caused a few of you to consider marriage counceling. Lighten up people, it was intended to be a humerous approach to the daily grind most women face.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Sarah, Seattle, WA — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:52:49 GMT

I am a single mother of three children.. I used to be able to work out, do my hair every day, put on makeup, get to the spa for a waxing... all of that. I stayed home with the kids and always minded my appearance for the benefit of the outside world.

I ended up divorced anyhow. Turns out looks ain't everything, sweetheart.

Since my divorce 5 years ago I have gotten 2 BA degrees and an MA and have just been accepted to law school on a full scholarship. I no longer have the time, money, energy or inclination to do all that stuff I once did because I am too busy becoming a stronger, better person and a healthier role model for my 12 yr old daughter.

And you know what... she doesn't care if my hair is done or not.

I rarely wear makeup, am absolutely still carrying weight from my last baby, and my hair is long and windblown much of the time.. and you know what, even with all that I still capture the attention of really great guys. Bright, successful, charming.

How is this possible without putting on a mask every day?

It is because I am wicked smart, seriously funny and fun to be around, well-read and well-spoken and generally a great person to know. Any man of quality will respect that and seek it out. I could go back to being the little hottie I once was.. it's not too much of a stretch, (If I wanted to spend an hour+ everyday primping, plucking, blowdrying, shaving, applying, etc.) but you know what.. someday no matter what cosmetics you apply, those looks will fade and you will have to deal with the issues that no amount of make up can cover. Don't worry though, you can always get plastic surgery.. doesn't Melanie Griffith look fabulous! (Yikes)

Better advice to women (and the advice I give my daughter) is do what makes you happy and comfortable. And for god's sake never marry a man who doesn't love you to death "au natural" because any man who expects you to look like a supermodel all the time wants a fantasy, not a partner.

I'm not a fantasy, I'm a human being and I am beautiful the way I was created. So are you.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Bob, Pittsburgh — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:11:00 GMT

I love the way women use the word supermodel on here. If you're reading this you probably do not look like one. A man who spends any length of time with a woman knows what he is getting into in the looks department, how good you can look and how bad, and accepts that range. The thing you need to think about is that he tolerates you looking your worst but appreciates you looking your best.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Shayde, AR — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:25:29 GMT

Mom's, you need to lighten up. You seem to want it both ways. I know being FT mom is hard work. Nobody in their right mind questions that but the absolute stupidity of listing a couple dozens career paths as if you are doing those fulltime or even well is crazy talk. I'll visit what I've seen. For 20 years I worked FT and overtime, especially when I went salaried and topped out at an average of 85 - 100 hrs a week. I had to or I'd get no bonuses or promotions. My wife on the other hand slept in and stayed up latre. I was the one who stayed up with the kids when they were sick or got up to potty train them or comfort them when crying. I did home repairs and changed oil in the car picked up my dirty clothes, mowed the lawn, even washed dishes and cooked nearly half the meals I was home for, yet she always said I didn't contribute enough. This past year I started a home business. Over the past year I noticed that the house is still in the same condition as it was for the past 20 years and she spends literally 16-20 hours a day in bed or on the couch. And, as I said no change in how the house is kept up. Yet she still complains about how she has so much to do that there is just no time to get it all done and since I "don't have a job anymore" why can't I start doing it since she did it so well for so many years. I see the same thing all over. When caling on retail clients I see the same moms in Starbuck or the McDonalds with their girlfriends for hours every day. Why not spend some of that time talking a walk or watching (and execising) to a Richard Simmons or TaeBo DVD. To drive the point home, my wife who had a very nice fit but curvy figure when we married immediately after giving birth declared she would get fat, that she would not be able to help it. She said I'd leave her if she did and I assured her I would still love her. And you know, she did. Really fat. She weighed more than me and I'm 6ft + and was fairly muscular. I stayed fit, turning heads into my mid 30's. Finally through her complaints and refusal to go out in public with me because "people will wonder why HE is with HER. So I decided to allow my self to go. It made her happy for a year or so once I gained about 80lbs. But then she complained about how I look. Well I felt like crap and so I've started working out again. I've gotten rid of almost everything but a little around the middle and now she's complaining about my being fit again. And you know she's still on the couch doing squat. And to tell the truth I see the very same thng with so many women. They expect men to work 40,50,60+ hours a week, do half the childrearing, half the housework and stay fit while they watch Oprah and sit on the couch complaining about their deadbeat husbands. Those that work often do not work full time and still expect a full half and half while they let their butts expand. And those that do work full time hold it over their husbands like some badge of courage even if it is 32 hours stocking shelves at WalMart and their husband is doing 70+ as an executive or heavy labor. If they are working full time a full 50/50 split is fair but when the stay at home moms are bulking up and complain they don't have time they are full of it. The fitness experts say 10-20 mins a day to get your heart pumping is all you need. Goog grief, drag the exercise bike out and pump it during the Oprah hour!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

mt, kansas city — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:27:32 GMT

talk about touching a nerve or two! suave wins. by the very nature of this discussion, they've managed to create top of mind awareness with all of us, whether you agree with their message, or buy their product, or not.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

kyoung — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:39:30 GMT

Shayde, AR have you ever considered that maybe your wife is suffering from a form of depression? Perhaps you should both see her physician.

Also, just because you have had an experience where you feel your wife is not doing her part, the majority of families cannot afford for either of the parents to stay home.

"Those that work often do not work full time and still expect a full half and half while they let their butts expand. And those that do work full time hold it over their husbands like some badge of courage even if it is 32 hours stocking shelves at WalMart and their husband is doing 70+ as an executive or heavy labor. If they are working full time a full 50/50 split is fair but when the stay at home moms are bulking up and complain they don't have time they are full of it."

If you work in a home based business, you probably should remain anonymous so the people local to you do not know who you are and boycott your services. I believe there was a study (I think I heard it on NPR) that women make approximately 80% of the financial decisions ranging from groceries to birthday/christmas/anniversary presents, from vacation plans to 401Ks, from clothing to cars, etc. If I were you, I would not want my name or business associated with such women/mother bashing.

By the way, I am sacrificing my own lunch time to write this, not any other of my jobs as a woman/mother/wife.

You should get your wife some help. She probably is not happy with the status of your life either. Of course, she may get help, medication, therapy, whatever and decide that she really is better off without someone as cynical as you. Good luck.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rob, Omaha — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:56:03 GMT

Wow, no idea I'd cause such a stir.

My wife is a superwoman. When I met her, we both loved going out. We had time, money, and no responsibilities and could spend on clothes, dates, trips, etc. Now... we have two young boys.

We have to partner on raising them. I don't know how a single parent could raise their kids. But there are certain things that the boys just want their mom to do. I try to balance it out, but it's a lot of work for both of us. In addition to our full-time jobs, the boys are in little league sports and other activities.

Does she look frazzled after running around two young boys? Absolutely, so do I. It's not practical to get dressed up to take the trash out to the curb, but she still enjoys getting dressed up for the few times we can go out.

If you read would I wrote, rather than what you wanted to see (and rant about), my point was that this ad was about her being able to have both. It's aspirational. I think most mom's would love to have an afternoon to pamper themselves, but who has the time or money (with two kids) to do it? For a $2 bottle of suave, you get a little pampering.

And by the way, I never had problems changing diapers. Don't know what the big deal is.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Mj — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:47:05 GMT

If my husband would only take on 50% of what I do for the kids and the household, I can spend at least 30% of my time trying to keep my appearance up and looking just as I did when he first met me. But, I can only be as good as a wife, as he is a husband.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Liz, Houston, TX — Thu, 15 May 2008 23:07:54 GMT

I take care of my infant daughter, shamefully dependent husband, and my looks, all while going full-time to college. I think there is an unusual tension between taking care of oneself and being a good wife and mother. According to this article and older women in my family, I should be offended by Pantene's commercial; looks are not that important. According to my husband, the business world, and all men, gay or straight, looks are extremely important. I think the key here is to recognize that in order for me or any other mom to look fabulous, we don't need Pantene. We need our employers, husbands/suitors, and family to COOPERATE with us so that we are not cleaning after children and adults, working on meaningless work/school projects for DAYS at home, taking care of basic needs for way too many people, and doing everything thing for everyone. That way, all of us ladies can have time to enjoy being ourselves; if we choose to do our hair and makeup or go to the gym, then good for us. If not, screw anybody who thinks that maintenance of looks defines what kind of people we are.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

JoAnn — Fri, 16 May 2008 00:59:06 GMT

I've always wondered why men are considered to look just fine au natural but women need makeup to look like they "take care of themselves". Why do women have to put forth so much time and money to "look good" when all men do is roll out of bed, jump in the shower, get dressed and walk out the door? If a woman does that, well, that must mean she doesn't take care of herself. It's such a double standard.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Frankly My Dear, Detroit, MI — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:16:08 GMT

I could spend more time on myself but I don't. I'd like to but its just not worth it. I am a nearly natural kind of mom with two kids. I prefer to look nice but my husband wouldn't notice, if he did he'd be wondering who else noticed and if any other man should notice, the husband would blame me. So why bother? Last time I wore more than cover-up, foundation and mascara to work for a week straight I was hiding black eyes the husband had given me. Next time you want to judge a woman for not taking care of herself take a moment to remember that you are judging a person you don't know for a very small and shallow thing. I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone I work with wondered why I don't take care of myself all the time when I looked so nice for a week there. Now, I have to get back to reserving my moving van.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

PMV, Antelope Valley — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:47:19 GMT

Wow, as I sat and read the posted comments I truly wondered how many poeple (men and women) really tried to relate to the comments and not just "blast" them for their opinions. They really are just that, opinions.
I am a single working mom, my children are older, but even when they were school-age I chose the dress to impress image and wore my snugglies when I wanted comfort. Women can do both. By choice.
Peace starts within, so if you are at Peace in your pjs at the store, go, but be prepared for the looks and maybe even comments. Just remember, they are just vocalized opinions.
Society no longer dictates our acceptance, however if your children ask you to dress up a little for their school play or parent/teacher's conference, you might consider it (for them).
And regarding Suave, they are suppose to advertise their product and just as we have here, they have the right of "freedom of expression".
I read that somewhere...*LOL*

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

DI, New York — Fri, 16 May 2008 03:12:37 GMT

This is all too funny to me! All my "pamper mom" (and there is oh so much of it!) money is going to gas for my vehicle! If Suave can figure out how to bring the price of gas back down to $1.50 a gallon, I will start buying their products-until then pampering myself will come in Unleaded!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Wake up ladies! — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:01:27 GMT

I am a divorced mother of two and I for one love this commercial. It makes me feel a little less abnormal. I have always sort of thought that I was really gross and that other mothers must have such great time management skills they have plenty of time to shower, deep condition their locks and manicure their nails regularly but then I see an ad campaign like this and I know I am not alone. I am not that strange. I am busy and it is hard to find time for many of us not just me.

I also loved the Luvs commercial from years ago when the Mom said basically, "I can't even guarantee that I'll get a shower everyday." Before then I felt like I must have been a gross freak for missing a shower here and there because I was so busy. I thought there was something wrong with me because as far as I knew all the other Moms could keep up with kids, job, home and hygiene and I had struggled in that last category. That commercial helped me realize that I was not alone and it helped me not get so depressed about my shortcomings.

I have begun managing my time better and I've included time for me to clean up and polish my nails or do a deep conditioning treatment or do some yoga or pluck my eyebrows. I did this because I was unhappy about what I saw in the mirror. I am not concerned with what others think, I am too busy to worry about them. I was legitimately depressed when I went to buy a dress for a wedding and realized I had neglected myself for too long. It is not easy and there are times when I miss a "me" appointment to spend time with the kids or do something urgent and it's alright but I'm forming good habits and getting back to a healthy weight and so the next time I have to buy a dress I won't burst into tears in the dressing room.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Happy Girl, Northern VA — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:34:06 GMT

I remember watching that Calgon Take Me Away commercial when I was about 7 or 8 and I remember thinking that it was horrible and mean and I couldn't understand why a woman would be wishing for her family to go away. I was actually a little traumatized by it because I found myself constantly worrying about if my mom had ever felt that way too and it made me want to be a good kid so she would never want to leave. As an adult with two daughters of my own, I know have the capacity to understand the message in the commercial and I'm not ashamed to say I can relate to it--as I'm sure we all have. Anyhow, concerning the Suave ad. I was a little shocked but not really offended by it because there is truth in it. I too am guilty of letting myself go on occasions and yes, I've gone to the grocery store with my hair in a bun, no make-up, wearing a t-shirt, jeans and slip on shoes but I'm by no means proud or empowered by that. I'm actually ashamed that I've gotten lazy. My motto used to be: "Pride of Ownership" and that applied to everything in my life. (appearance, home, car, speech, manners, etc) When I speak about having pride for my home and my car--I'm not talking about the ones I currently own--I'm talking about as far back as my first vehicle which was an 88 Renault Medallion and my first apartment that rented for $450 a month. Although I was pretty destitute, and didn't have a pot to piss in (as my family would say) I still took pride in all things that represented me. Anyhow, I don't get how so many of you think that a woman that likes to wear make-up is insecure, that's completely ridiculous to me. I fully admit that I've seen at least one hundred women that are absolutely stunning with no make-up, and I genuinely hope they realize what a blessing they've been given. As for me, I remember many days that I went to work without wearing make-up (usually during my two pregnancies) and without fail, absolutely every single time that I did not wear make-up, at least one person would ask if I was feeling okay. I would respond with, "Sure I'm fine, why do you ask?" and EVERYTIME he/she would say, you just look like you're not feeling well. I was not embittered by that experience nor did it hurt my feelings, it just made me realize that I'm not one of those girls that was blessed with natural beauty and I'm absolutely okay with that. You can say what you will, because I know I am very confident woman that believes IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY if I feel my best when I wear make-up and have my hair and nails done.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

SLARTIE, Tallahassee, FL — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:49:28 GMT

I actually saw this commercial all the time last year when I was in South America. I thought it was great and unbelievably true. Although I don't have any kids, my sister has two - ages 15 mos and 27 mos. She has totally let herself go...I look at her hair or other things and I think, girl, comb your hair - dry it...do something. I'm not saying that two kids don't cut into your time, but ultimately, you need to take yourself seriously. Somehow, I find that if you're offended by this commercial then Suave did it's job. You should be offended by this commercial, offended into doing something about how you look...how you present yourself. Take a moment and look in the mirror, remember what got you knocked up in the first place - looking good. Take pride in that...stick up for yourself and wash your hair, run some gloss on your lips, and put on something that looks like it didn't come from the laundry hamper.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jenny, San Francisco, CA — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:22:06 GMT

Don't use family issues as an excuse for letting yourself go to hell. I have four kids and take enough pride in myself to look decent. If you don't have 30 minutes a day to spend on yourself, someone else in the house needs to become a contributor for the good of the entire family - don't become a martyr!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Trish, Ravenna, OH — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:33:31 GMT

First of all, I have no kids. I am just a young adult with two jobs. And even with no kids, I have no time to look fabulous. But I do know from my mother, (Who raised four kids practicly on her own, me being a set of twins) did whatever she could for us. In the end, still looking the way she wanted to. Which was comfy yet at the same time confident to go out and still look good.

My Boyfriend and I dress up for eachother, and some days we dont. We just enjoy eachothers company.

It's not our place to judge what we think is right and wrong for other people. Do your own thing. No once can make you do otherwise. I like to look nice and be comfortable. Simple. And yes, eventually when I become a mom I will probably lose more of my time, (Which isn't much at all) but I will do with what I have.

lol, I used to use Suave, but honestly I think it's just too greasy for me. Though a shower and some shampoo really do go a long way for me. Along with a little eye makeup and lip gloss. :)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jane Doe, California — Fri, 16 May 2008 20:52:58 GMT

Why can't these working/busy moms be "Handy women"? Meaning, lets put it this way, I am a lazy woman, even with hair and makeup, but it takes 10 minutes to look like a doll, SIMPLE.
It really is, and my dad is like a woman, does all the chores and cooks cleans and such. I'm working, so i dont come home in time for dinner, but i know what a busy person in the house looks like. I would never let myself go. I'd make my man work for his family he "Helped" make, and expect the chores to get done by everyone, including kids (if old enough), not so much in a slave driving way, but to show that mommy doesn't have to be a slave to everyone else.
And here's another thing, if women complain about being worked too much with everything to taking kids to practice and clean and whatever, then they shouldn't have so many kids, otherwise, enjoy what you have, whether it's 1 child, or 5.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

JA, Seattle, WA — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:14:58 GMT

A note for anyone who wants to put their wallet where their mouth is. Suave is owned by Helene Curtis and was purchased by Unilever: http://www.encyclopedia.chicagohistory.org/pages/2697.html As consumers we have so many choices that if we are annoyed by a marketing angle, we can easily buy product B and make our voices heard. Send a note to www.suave.com and let them know you don't like the ad and that it is negatively impacting your choice to use their products.

Something tells me a few people up there have never worked in marketing. I have. It's all about finding new ways to affect human behavior. There are humans on the other end of those campaigns playing on weaknesses and going for the lowest common denominator to get people to react, whether consciously or unconsciously. What people SAY and what the DO are often quite dissimilar when it comes to marketing. All of the subtle messages, over time, feed into society's subconscious and become a part of what we think is real and valid. Some of the tactics are harmful.

To the disappointed men on this thread, I'm not sure why you decided to use this as your forum to complain about your issues with women in your lives, post-kids or whatever. If you are resisting maturing and accepting the various stages of life that mean the woman in your life can't be bothered to pretend she's your sex kitten each and every day, well, you may want to find a less virtual way of working through that. Your problems sound very real and need more attention than a random message board about shampoo ads aimed at women. :)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Bethany, Utah — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:33:50 GMT

I am a single mother of 2 kids (under the age 4). While I can see the humor in the commercial, I do have to agree that it may send the wrong message. We, male and female, should be valued not for what we look like on the outside, but for what we are on the inside.

Of course what people see influences what they think of us. I would dare to say that there are more then a few people where I work that think I would be prettier with make-up. But they don't matter to me. So it doesn't matter what they say. Suave doesn't matter to me, so they can say I need to 'glam it up' and it doesn't matter to me.

I am happy with the way I look. No commercial can add to that, or take away from that unless I let it.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Emma in Seattle — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:53:42 GMT

KA, didn't you just tell us you sweep horse stalls for a living? I can appreciate that you'd think there are women out there with more glamourous careers, but if your husband is allowing you to think you are under threat every time he walks out the door? That's just sad.

"Read the comments from the guys above. Think they are cavemen? [insert: perhaps, but more likely just immature] Perhaps your guy thinks the same. Maybe not....but remember - they spend their work day exposed to sharp women who DO care about their image. Then they come home... "

The type of person who would say something like this has been raised to believe they need to compete for the love of their partner day-in and day-out and that it is based on physical appearance. What luck for the partner, eh? You're playing a game where he makes the rules! Has he been raised to feel he has to look over his shoulder every moment and compare himself to maintain your love? That's a whole lot of insecurity going on. Not good for you, him, or society at large.

Many women look beautiful without a stitch of make-up or excessive primping. And women who feel beautiful actually look beautiful, regardless of what they are wearing--face, hair, or body. It's all relative. A woman who struggles every day to get her foundation, powder, eyelines, shadow, mascara, lipliner and lipstick on before she steps out the door or lets her spouse or society see her? That is just tragic. So much wasted time and energy. If you love yourself, it shows from the inside out and no one can dispute that. I'm not a Mom but have so many friends with young kids who are make-up free, hair in a ponytail, wearing comfortable clothes, and as tired as they are, loving being Moms. That is beauty right there. It's an evolution in their lives, a while new perspective on being a woman. And their husbands seem to relish it as much as they do. There are days when it is beyond difficult, and the priorty most certainly should not be on whether Mommy's hair is perfectly coiffed. (Seriously, how dare a useless product try to interject itself into that vulnerable place to try and manipulate women by pretending vanity should be in the mix?)

I think everyone here would admit that a cheap shampoo (and let's face it, Suave is bottom of the barrel) is not going to make a tired new Mom FEEL the way she did before she was a Mom. Nor should it. That point is entirely moot here. The thing that consumers, female consumers, should pay attention to is that a product went the route of poking at a certain group of extremely important women in our society to try and sell a $1 bottle of shampoo. To try and make people take action based on an insecurity surrounding normal human life experiences is a bit uninspiring. They simply don't deserve our business for being so base.

I think Dove has proven that you can get your audience to react based on positive messaging. Watch for products that use that sort of angle. Patronize products that do good things.

And kudos to Eve in Saratoga. That is a voice I can respect.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Anna, Issaquah, WA — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:57:04 GMT

"It was amazing. I was the ONLY Mom who was dressed up. All the other Moms wore jeans (great if you are staying home - I wasn't), sweats, one had on PJ's and slippers. "

So you were the only Mom suffering from profound insecurity and fear of judgment? I'm not sure that is something to be proud of.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

K.A. Stevens - Dallas, TX — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:36:19 GMT

HAHAHA I really love this one: "For the moms who responded with the fake boobs, giant SUV, facial and manicured nails - you too have no perspective because you obviously don't work"

LOL. No fake boobs - Gosh! That’d just hurt. I work. Hard. I am rewarded for that work VERY well - financially and with thanks and praise - which is appreciation. Don't tell those Mom's who care how they look that they have no perspective. Just because we get up an hour early to do the "morning routine" means that's what trips our trigger or makes us happy and "at peace". If you don't care...so be it - your choice. But, don't get your panties in a wad when people think you look less than your best.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kennedy, NYC — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:51:27 GMT

Everyone is busy. No excuses. Do yourself - and your family - a favor and make the time to take care of yourself. Mind, spirit and body.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

K.A. Stevens - Dallas, TX — Sat, 17 May 2008 01:00:46 GMT

Oh, the ads are hilarious. Some of my favorites to watch and ROFLMAO over.

QUOTE - CAC: "I met my husband playing rugby (a sport at which I won a national championship in college), and we worked out and lifted weights together to spend time together. "

That's great! Guess what? I played Rugby too (loose head prop) - for 4 years in college. We were good. The whole team brushed hair, put on lip gloss and mascara before games. :-) I loved playing rugby – such stress relief to really cream someone. I lifted competitively - before children. Still workout - just not nearly as much - only 30 minutes 3x’s a week. I am in upper management at work. I too have 2 degrees – BA and MA and am no slouch in the brains department – what next CAC – want to compare IQ’s to validate yourself? I am sure you are successful and fantastic at what you do. What I said was, some women do let themselves go – and it matters what image you are putting out there – that is what I believe; have seen and hold as my opinion. If you don’t think that image matters – or don’t care, good for you, we live in America - choose your path.

I think the posts on this board that are slamming me for saying what is just the simple truth - women should take a little time everyday for themselves to pull it together - are hilarious. Guess I hit a nerve hmmm? Nice hair, some mascara (don't leave home without it) and lip gloss is not "being a fraud”. Bluntly, women, you deserve the extra 5 minutes it takes to look your best. Why not indulge? No, I don't wear makeup swimming (just waterproof mascara - LOL) or to bed (SO bad for the skin) I wear some to the barn - need the SPF to protect my skin from the sun.

No, I don't neglect my kids by working and being a professional software Architect - most days I am home and can pick them up from school. If I am not (business trip this week 2 days) my hubby picks them up. Yes, I work a lot. I work hard. I still choose to take time for me. I get up at 5 AM to work out, go to the barn, get dressed, get kids ready and off to school, throw a load of laundry in, go to work, cook dinner, do homework and baths, and relax with my guy - or a book if he is tied up. Is that so hard; or something to jump all over me for?

Why do you think I am stupid or shallow or ....whatever? That is so funny. The great feminist hoards on the board have judged another Mom and found her wanting because she cares about her image. Hypocrisy? I am chuckling with a glass of wine - Suave's ad people did their jobs...

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

traceyk — Sat, 17 May 2008 02:25:05 GMT

I liked the commercial. I didn't see anything negative in going from drab to fab and looking miserable to happy and feeling good about herself. As a matter of fact it made me think for a second that lately I've been rushing around and running errands looking like a mess. Still rushing but if not doing so in the bathroom mirror I find myself putting on some make-up at the stop lights, drive-thrus or while taking a call.
We are women multi tasking is second nature! Besides, I can tell the difference in the way people percieve and deal with me when I look nice. Men and women.

For me it makes me feel better about me...and that is what I thought the ad message was about.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

lindaloo, Denver, Colorado — Sat, 17 May 2008 02:55:51 GMT

Suave is lousy shampoo. It's not going to transform you into the babe you were at age 21.
Ladies, let's stop being so hard on each other.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Julie, Seattle, WA — Sat, 17 May 2008 07:55:42 GMT

Sarah from Seattle, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Lolita, Las Vegas, Nevada — Sat, 17 May 2008 08:32:41 GMT

Suave took a cheap shot...now how do I break the news to my dog I won't be buying him Suave shampoo and conditioner anymore!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kaelinda, Romney, WV — Sat, 17 May 2008 10:27:21 GMT

I weighed 135 when I got out of highshool and got married. Over the next 6 years, I had 4 children. I took care of them, did the laundry, cooked the meals, mowed the lawn, washed the windows, cleaned the car and waxed, cleaned the carpets and the drapes, bought the groceries, did dinner dishes and cleaned the kitchen after every meal. And worked to put my husband through school. At this time, I weighed 145 pounds - ten more pounds than I was when he married me 30 years ago. But I did let myself go. I failed to stay 21, failed to keep a virginal body, failed to keep my hair dyed blonde and wear blue contact lenses. So now my ex husband is happily married to a lovely lady who DOES keep herself looking good for him. He pays for her maintenance and he pays for someone to come and clean his house and do his laundry. He and his wife eat their meals out every night because she's proud of the fact that she never learned to cook. My kids don't speak to him because they're ashamed and embarrassed by what he's done to me. So, after all this, I have a question: Can Suave do anything at all to turn a middle-aged body that has clearly borne several children into looking like a 28 year old who grew up with a rich daddy and never had to worry about money, bills, kids, cars, etc.? Can Suave do all that?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Stacey R Saline, MI — Sat, 17 May 2008 15:41:59 GMT

Funny how a advertisement stirs up the debate of what an American woman should be and look like. I am a working mother, student and have three teenagers and am a young mom in her 30's. I believe that looking clean, neat and groomed is essential to success in all aspects of life whether man or woman.

I have been a stay at home mom, a full and part time employee and a graduate student at various times but I can tell you I never feel good "letting myself go".

I personally believe that if a man or a woman wants an excuse to let herself go or not diet and exercise they will find one. Taking care of yourself men and women means taking pride in your appearance.

Instead of being hyper-critical of others attempt to look good or let themselves go, instead concentrate on what image you as a person want to project as a representative of you. I always dress appropriately for the situation, and never wear jeans to church or to a fancy restaurant, even if others do (which is their right) as I do not feel comfortable looking under dressed.

I am a tomboy, but do not feel good walking out the door without at least brushing my hair and putting on base makeup as I have flaws that while at home or among friends don't bother me, do bother me in public.
I do not want to look like a zombie or like I just got off an all night bender with washed out complexion and unbrushed hair.

I think common sense dictates your appearance is part of a good regimen of hygiene and that when I go out anywhere in public, specifically a restaurant or movie theater, I take some time to remember what my grandmother told me, look good for you. I set my hair in hot rollers or use a curling iron or flat iron and put on makeup in the morning when I go to work or any other public place, and it takes me ten to twenty minutes. I look and smell good and do not cut all my hair off just because other women say I should (long hair is easily put in a pony tail) and wear sexless clothing in beige just because I am busy or a mom and an employee. Having short cropped hair is a choice and I do not believe being a mom means giving up the right to spend some time grooming yourself. Age has nothing to do with length of hair or makeup or clothing, unless you are walking out the door in Geranimals at age 40. LOL. "I think a lot of men and women use "busy" or "parent" as an excuse to be a slob. I teach my children(two girls and a boy) to be clean, neat and smell nice and to not disrespect an establishment by dressing like a slob.

Men and women lets face it do a lot of thankless maintenance and housework at home and women forget men doing lawn care, repairs and other mostly male dominated chores women never do as well. I do agree men on TV appear like slobs and women like goddesses in commercials and sit-coms. That is something that makes me upset. Ripping and running kids around is also a choice as busy is something you as a family need to manage. When kids activities create so much tension in the house and consume so much time there is no time for you and your marriage or life it is time to cut back and focus on what is important. SUave can help with that...HAHA

Suave should mention men as well as women and say, "If you feel like you need some more me time, then Suave has the solution for at least your hair care needs." Something to that affect might work better to not insult their consumers.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jean Toledo, Ohio — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:04:51 GMT

I am a 43 year old Sicilian women. Men and women usually guess me at 35, 36. I wear mascara, a little bronzer, and clear lip gloss. I have olive skin and curly dark brown hair to my waist. A little over 5 feet tall, 120. I can't remember the last time I combed my hair. It's really hard with these darn curls. I'm happy with me and my significant other is also. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What works for one probably will not work for the other. I personally do not care for a lot of stuff on my face. Clear nail polish. Work is casual business, home is blue jeans. Love to be bare foot. I could go on and on. I'm a messy cook, wear old things, he doesn't care because the end result is what counts. I guess what I'm rambling on about is I'm comfortable and happy with the way I look and present myself. Isn't that what matters? I am not a siut and heels kind of women. Maybe some of you are. Good for you. And good for you jeans wearing women. Do what works for you.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

gabrielle kouri — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:29:32 GMT

Here's to the single mommies who have no man to come home to, to impress, make happy, or wish would take better care of themselves. Keep it real ladies, look good, keep money in your pocket, and love those precious babies. They will love you, ugly or beautiful. Listen to your gut and try to FEEL fabulous, whatever that means doing. Image is important - to some of us. Others don't care.
Why do we try so hard to create - best thoughts and best conclusions - best arguments, when we are all so different? There is no one size fits all response to the ads that SUAVE makes! nor is there a best answer to "should look good, or how or why????"
If this means buying Suave, buy it, if it means not buying it, than don't. Our relationships with companies don't have to revolve around how they advertise. We can just buy stuff b/c we want to or it works. All of the money we spend just goes into other peoples pockets, and ours are lined with their money.
I don't think this argument can be won or solved. People always have to sell stuff, and we always have to have stuff. If you don't like that, change it by not buying. But most of all - let's support eachother.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Daphne. Montpelier Indiana — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:58:46 GMT

Being a woman is great.. I do try to keep in mind, (as much as I do not understand it) that men are stimulated by what they see. Sorry, it is a fact. Keep that in mind, when your husband who loves you so.... much...is fighting his inner drive to, "look."

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

ALM, Tampa, FL — Sun, 18 May 2008 13:47:09 GMT

I was pretty sure I was going to refrain from adding to this catfight until I saw this comment from a Ms. KA Stevens:

"Read the comments from the guys above. Think they are cavemen? Perhaps your guy thinks the same. Maybe not....but remember - they spend their work day exposed to sharp women who DO care about their image. Then they come home..."

Ms. Stevens, is your home life so unstable and are you so insecure that you need to dress yourself up so you can compete with the "sharp" and allegedly good-looking women your husband works with? Is your husband going to leave you because you decided not to wear make-up, and wore jeans instead of a designer skirt and blouse? Are your kids going to be ashamed of you, and blame you when it comes time for divorce?

...I hope the answers to all of those questions can be summed up by the word "no." But if not, I think you need a refresher course on what marriage is meant to be. It's about love, trust, friendship, and support -- not how you measure up to his coworkers. So while you may feel threatened in your situation, it's unnecessary to tell other women they should feel that way.

I likely won't be reading this article again, so I apologize in advance for ignoring any replies I get to this message.

Hey, ladies -- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

jm, anywhere, cali — Sun, 18 May 2008 15:30:37 GMT

wow such insecurity truly spoken here... most of you dont have 5 min. to put mke up on, but I bet you're on your computer for about 2-3 hrs a day sorting thru usless crap like this blog.... do us all a favor, brush your teeth (because bad breath is a turn off to anyone) and run a brush thru that hair.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KL, Tucson, AZ — Sun, 18 May 2008 18:11:21 GMT

How sad. . . that women allow media to dictate our value and worth in society.

Notice that it isn't important that a woman is successful in her career, a good mother, and a faithful wife, she first, and foremost must be physically appealing to MEN. Yet, men achieving even half of what a woman is expected to do is considered a saint.

You won't ever see a commercial telling men to do something about their spare tire, their balding heads, their woeful lack of fashion sense. No way. If he comes home from work every day and does a minimal amount around the house, he's good as gold.

So let's see Suave make this commercial to men. . . tell them to get to the gym, come home and get showered and smelling fresh for us, cook dinner and take care of the kids.

Yeah, right.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

stop telling me i don't clean — Sun, 18 May 2008 20:04:34 GMT

The man who comes home and puts up his feet is gone. He's extinct, along with the dream woman of the commercial that started this.

by the way, if you women would just get over your useless obsession to presenting a beatiful home this wouldn't be a problem. stop cleaning so much, have a dirty house. its ok.

stop watching the idiot box. Then the brain controllers can't make you into an idiot thike this.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Judith — Sun, 18 May 2008 21:13:49 GMT

So many women are writing in about their personal habit of applying cosmetics before their husband gets home, or the importance of looking a particular way for a PTA meeting. And then others are typing in the complete opposite - how much our children need us, and how make up and beauty is unnecessary.

LEt's stop being judgemenal and opinionated! If you want to wear make-up or have your hair done, fine. If you prefer to spend your time doing something else, fine. I personally don't have time for make-up. In my limited free time as a stay-at-home mom, I'd rather read, play my saxophone, do some organic gardening, or volunteer. It isn't about what you look like, its about how you feel and act.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Laid back mother, Metro STL, Illinois — Mon, 19 May 2008 00:42:58 GMT

I am a mother of a 10 month old colicky child. The first thought that came to my mind when I read this article was "Really? we are that sensitive?". Being a business major I thought the commericial was great from a professional and personal perspective. I need all the help I can get to look my best as well as other moms. Suave was not appearing to say that "you look like trash, so buy our trash" but merely that we are an inexpensive way to take 10 minutes to feel better without spending your diaper money on the same quality. I found it a bit uplifting because I know when I look better I do feel better about myself. This is not to say I go out of my way to impress people, and I dont believe thats what they are getting at. It's more along the lines (in my interpretation) saying take some time to feel better. Why get so up in arms about something so trivial? Seriously, have we run out of things that matter that much? Go wash your hair and stop PMSing. This is blown way out of proportion. Why not take a little pride in yourself... after changing years worth of diapers you deserve it. I admit I have let myself go and whenever I get the chance to look good I take it. Children dont want bitter mothers. No one to my knowledge told mothers to look perfect. I think people read way to far into things that are not there. Shouldn't you be washing your hair anyway? Amist the constant crying, I find 10 minutes to wash mine...

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

DC, Baton Rouge, LA — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:56:39 GMT

KA's not really a woman. She's a male ad exec for Suave. The "game face" baloney gives it away.

No matter what KA and her ilk say, they miss the point of this controversy: the ads polarize female appearances. You're either fully made up and dressed like a supermodel, OR you look like a wino. There's no sense of a well-groomed "in between" for women in our culture. Why? Because being paranoid about our appearance beyond "clean and well-groomed" is a multi-billion dollar industry. Insecurity about appearances fuels a huge chunk of the economy.

If a man gets up, shaves, showers and puts on a nice shirt and a nice pair of pants, he's "done." If a woman does the exact same thing, she is told she looks "frumpy."

I don't go anywhere in my PJs and a bathrobe. But I don't wear makeup, stiletto heels, polished nails and highly styled hair, either. I am always neatly dressed, freshly showered, combed and well-groomed -- as any self-respecting man would do before leaving the house.

That's how I was when I married my husband and that's how I am now.

I have better things to do with my life than try to be a 24-hour centerfold while holding down a job, doing the daily household chores AND helping elderly parents.

The hard truth in our culture is that so-called "men's chores" (lawn mowing, painting, etc.) can usually be postponed a few days if the big game is on tonight or if he just wants to be lazy. But dinner must be cooked each day, messes must be cleaned as they occur, laundry must be done daily. If a man doesn't mow the lawn, it doesn't need to be mowed TWICE as bad tomorrow. Grass doesn't grow that fast. And bathrooms can remain unpainted for years. But you WILL have twice as many undone dishes, twice as much laundry, etc. if those chores remain undone. Meals don't prepare themselves and families require thrice-daily feeding. And THAT is where women get exhausted.

A bottle of cheap shampoo ain't gonna change that.

Breaktime over. Back to work, ya know?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Chris, Laredo, Texas — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:15:57 GMT

Seriously, what is wrong with looking decent? I mean I can go to the WalMart with no make up on or whatever but I do like to look nice for my husband when we go out.
And this commercial is for shampoo. Just wash your damn hair ladies! Gezz

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Emma in Seattle — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:24:27 GMT

"...they miss the point of this controversy: the ads polarize female appearances. You're either fully made up and dressed like a supermodel, OR you look like a wino. There's no sense of a well-groomed "in between" for women in our culture. Why? Because being paranoid about our appearance beyond "clean and well-groomed" is a multi-billion dollar industry. Insecurity about appearances fuels a huge chunk of the economy. "

That's pretty much it. Well said. There is a happy medium: low maintenance style happens every day. And I'm sure the children of the low-maintenance Moms grow up with a healthier take on their own appearance knowing their Moms have higher priorities than whether they looked better than the other Moms at soccer practice. I imagine children bond more easily with Moms who weren't programmed by Cosmo magazine, but that's just my theory. Taking pride in your appearance has nothing to do with competing against an absurd ideal or being a slave to the suggestions of the media.

I'll leave you with this: "Who has not experienced how, on near acquaintance, plainness becomes beautified, and beauty loses its charm, exactly according to the quality of the heart and mind?" - Frederika Bremer

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Tina, Des Moines — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:16:39 GMT

People - you are missing the point!!!!

The mom (a person not an object) is very busy. Misogynist spouse and self-serving children want her to also look good.

Just another time, place, and action for a women to achieve perfection. Effortless perfection to be exact.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Patrick, Tampa, FL — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:13:44 GMT

Wow, after reading these posts it's obvious that no matter what the commercial many of you women would not agree. As a man, yes I do care if I come home to someone that looks like they care what they look like. It doesn't have to be a datenight type look, just something that shows that you care how you look. Looking good for your man is just as important 20 years down the road as it is in the initial stages. Those of you that don't think you should have to try and look good, are you also saying that you don't care if your man looks good? Tell me you wouldn't like it if he made a point to always look good for you. It seems to me the point of the commercial was to tell you women that you are beautiful and sexy and to not forget that fact. Obviously some of you missed that point.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Michael Todd, Chicago IL — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:42:16 GMT

The only thing that this message thread proves beyond the shadow of a doubt is the following two things:

1. That women are, from the moment they are born, their own worst enemies and that their happiness or unhappiness in life seems to stem from how good or bad their upbringing helps them overcome their own senses of inferiority.
2. Nobody will say or do anything that will make a woman feel worse about herself than another woman.

Instead of painting your success or failure on how many kids you pop out or how high you climb the corporate ladder, and tearing each other down each step of the way on either path, why don't you measure your success in terms of how happy you are?

For all of you slinging insults and venom at each other, the only thing it says about you is that despite your protests to the contrary, something (or several things) about your lives isn't/aren't as perfect as you claim, because people who are happy and content with themselves (and, equally importantly - the decisions they've made in life) don't give two turds about what other people think about their choices, and CERTAINLY would not get so in a bunch over a freakin' SHAMPOO commercial. Yes, repeat after me: this is a SHAMPOO commercial. Something I wash my hair with. Rinse, lather, repeat, and grow up.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Proud Husband of a Hardworking Woman — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:26:56 GMT

Actually, I like the way my wife looks when she's worn thin and has a few smudges on her face from the hard work she does. I like knowing that she works hard for our family, and I like that she's not ashamed of what she does for our family.

I also like that when she's done doing those things, done cleaning up after our daughter, or taking care of the laundry, she can become an entirely different person just by jumping in the bath.

Now, don't get on me about gender bias. We're both full-time students, and I take care of the trash and dishes, and watch our daughter while my wife does her homework, but my wife gets a genuine streak of pleasure out of what she considers to be making herself look prettier. I've gone to extreme lengths to make sure she understands that I appreciate the work she does, and she still chooses to use this method to seperate her moods and activities.

She doesn't get an urging to do that from me. As I've said, I like it when she looks like she's been at it all day (it usually means she wants extra cuddles when I get home :P). Yet she still makes a clear distinction between Mother mode and Woman mode.

So, in essence, maybe it's not the commercial trying to make women think this is how things should be. Maybe it's women who act this way that make the marketing agents think these commercials will work.

And anyone who wants to badmouth my wife for being a full-time student, a stay-at-home mom, and an aspiring architect, who also occasionally wants to look like she knows how to use a shower, be my guest. Just be warned: in addition to everything else she does, she's also got a mean right hook. ;)

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Lindey, Washington — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:16:33 GMT

Those ads infuriated me when they first came out. What a way to set women back 50 years, Suave!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Mike- NJ — Wed, 21 May 2008 23:22:12 GMT

I am going to say it.....Women get dressed up to show off to other women. As a whole men love thier women; even in a potato sack, as long a showers was completed. Stop with the sex wars. Everyone works hard, everyone is tired. If a cheap shampoo helps someone feel better about themself, good for them.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

typh cedar rapids, ia — Fri, 23 May 2008 04:12:29 GMT

While i find the implication that moms "let themselves go" a little insulting-most of us are just super busy and once you have children you usually have more important priorities than trying to look attractive for men 24/7-it was nice to see something that encouraged women to do something for themselves. there's such a martyresque parenting culture in the us, once you become a mother you're never supposed to need or desire anything ever again, anytime you spend on yourself is time selfishly taken from your children, etc. so an acknowledgement that moms have needs too, was a welcome change. as a matter of fact i find commercials where mothers are portrayed as frumpy and asexual far more insulting, the ones for cleaning products come to mind. and there was no direct implication that the woman was trying to look hot for her husband or her children, i felt it was something she was doing for herself. yes society places unfair expectations on women in terms of their appearance, but i didn't feel this ad did that. it acknowledged that moms are still women and if looking nice makes them feel good, they deserve time to do that.
if that's not your priority, there is nothing wrong with that. but for alot of women, taking time to groom themselves is an important part of holding onto to their sense of self. before i had my daughter, i rarely wore makeup or dressed up. after i had her, i became twice as girly because doing little things like painting my nails or taking a hot bath became a way of reclaiming my time and reminding myself that though being a mother was an important role, it didn't encompass my whole being. and i'm a single mom, so it was never motivated by trying to hold onto my man. i do those things for me.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

KA Stevens - Dallas, TX — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:08:49 GMT

Hello all! It has been a week - and still this rages on. Just got back from a business trip and had a second to answer some of the venom. :-)

No, I am not a man from Suave. I am a woman - 41 yo; 2 kids (boys) was widowed at 28 and a single Mom for 5 years; married now to a wonderful man who probably wouldn't care if I never wore makeup - but definitely appreciates that I do.

I am a software architect (that means I put software systems together for large companies, train people; demonstrate the functionality of the software) I also have horses that I work, clean up after, feed, love, etc. 3 of my 4 horses are rescues who were either beaten, starved or neglected and we got them out of those situations to help them - now they are happy and healthy. I have my own business on the side too.

No, I am not a robot; fembot or anything other than a woman who believes caring about your appearance matters. My family is quite happy, thank you.
I am not insecure; unstable or a slave to what others think.

In fact, I don't care whether you think I am silly to put makeup on everyday; wear nice clothes and take the time to "romance" my husband. I like to do it - and so it matters to me. I also don't care if you other ladies go out looking like hags, madonnas, men with breasts, corpses, teen queens, witches, dowdy matrons or supermodels - if you're happy, I am too.

Just remember, letting yourself go because you're a Mom and everything is too much for you doesn't make you "feminist", just let go.

Oh - just one question - since it is SO easy to beat up on - or gang up on - or castigate - a woman who gives a rats patoot what she looks like - who exactly does THAT make insecure? ;-)

Happy Memorial Day.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Patricia, Texas — Tue, 27 May 2008 08:04:44 GMT

What I think is sad is that most of these comments only goes to show that society is obsessed with attractiveness. Most of the people on here defend their arguments that women have let themselves go by saying a little makeup makes you more attractive and that's better for everyone!

I could care less if men I don't know find me attractive or not, I could care less if my boss thinks I look better with makeup or not, that doesn't determine my self worth or my abilities. I wear makeup sometimes but most of the time not because unlike 99% of american's I am not obsessed with physical appearances.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Tammy, Sun City IN — Wed, 28 May 2008 16:19:09 GMT

"I think Suave is on target with this message. What you failed to mention in their ad is at the end, the mom looks phenomenal with her kids in tow. It's not an either/or decision, the modern mom can have both.

I think they've identified with the modern mom pretty effectively, and this ad will resonate with that market."

Hey Rob, it's a commercial. NOT REALITY. You make it sound as if because it's portrayed in the commercial then there is no reason every woman can't be the perfect woman.

PLEASE!!

Husbands would do well to understand the reason most women let themselves go is because they carry 90% of the load of a family, plus work, too. If men want their wife to look better, then take some of the load off and give her time to focus on herself. Dishpan hands aren't just for women anymore!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Erich, San Antonio, TX. — Wed, 28 May 2008 16:55:13 GMT

My mom didn't and still doesn't bust her butt to make herself all pretty and witty looking. She's brilliant, fun, down-to-earth, inventive, creative, intuitive, responsive, and all around awesome. Did I care that there were times when she'd walk around the house in sweats? No. Did my dad care about her getting a perm and manicure? No. We loved her despite her unfortunate humanity. And she loves us too.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Rachel — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:00:42 GMT

Debbie, your comment angered me very much.

"Why do ladies have kids if they won't stay home with them? Yes, I'm female, yes, I stay home with my kids, yes, I make a point to look great for my husband when he gets home from a long day of work. I am his wife first and foremost..a mommy second."

People have children because they want to. Period. Are you somehow saying that only women who can snag someone to leech from deserve to have kids? There are many women who are forced to work to pay for the food they eat and roof over their head. Are you somehow saying that these women do not deserve the option of having a child simply because they cannot "stay home with them". I hate people like you.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Still Trying, Altoona WI — Sat, 31 May 2008 06:11:57 GMT

When I married my wife 12 years ago, we both were many pounds lighter and had much more energy. Now, after two kids and well into middle age, we've both gained a little baggage. Does the pounds matter? Heck, no. What does matter, though, is the attitude that attracting your spouse doesn't matter anymore. Sometimes relationships need both spouses to dig a little deeper into how they attracted the other person in the first place. You can't ignore that just because you think you don't need to win her or him anymore.

The last time my wife and I were actually able to put together a "date" I wore dress pants, dress shoes, and a nice button-down shirt. My wife came downstairs in sweats and an over-large tee-shirt. Needless to say, my energy and ambition to have a fun, romantic night suddenly dried up.

And I dare anyone to say "Of course, the man has more energy because he doesn't have to do as much." I work the usual 40 hours a week, do half of the housework, most of the cooking, all of the outside work, and half of the work with our children. It's always hard to find the energy to break out of the regular humdrum routine, but it can be worth it to try. (The above date had a quick reversal after my wife noticed my attire and went back upstairs to change.)

Many marriages, could benefit from both spouses being aware that impressing the other person once in a while doesn't stop once the ring is on the finger. While most of our daily lives don't allow for such frivolous behavior, it can shine all the more brightly when you do take the chance to put forth the effort.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

I LUV MY MOM — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 07:49:35 GMT

Figures most females wouldnt appreciate this commercials...probably the ones that this commercial are targeting are the ones who are upset

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

P J, SmallTown upstate New York, USA — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:21:36 GMT

Hummmmm......being as most TV comercials are set at a Fith Grade level......Whats the problem? We all know the mentality of 5th graders....They still have a lot to learn.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Jenn, Cleveland — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:28:28 GMT

Ladies, please. Can't we just support each other? Geez.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

dang tired — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:18:59 GMT

it is hard to want to look sexy after working nine hours, towing around children before and after work to daycare, coming home and cleaning, cooking and when i can finally plop down on the couch and relax i have to go to bed soon and start all over. For me natural beauty is not something you have to work at. I was a runway and print model, I was one of 'those girls' that had it all. I am now 20 years older, still beautiful for my age but I am definately not skinny anymore. Yeah i hate that I can't lose the weight but my husband still gropes me all the time so I think I am still ok w/o cheap suave products to strip my hair of color and shine. I use unite products-- much better.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

REALLY? — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:22:14 GMT

"Has anyone else ever noticed in tv ads and several tv shows the wife is always slender and pretty and the man is usually chubby and average looking? "

Yeah that really pisses me off. Just once I wish the hot wife would leave one of these slobs for a hot guy on the show and tell them if THEY had not let themselves go that woudl not have left them. I woudl watch that show.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

RealityNow, Birmingham,Alabama — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:51:24 GMT

What a load of crap...and you guys are all falling for it. Thanks, CZAK, for making all dads sound like they're whiny, pathetic cuckolds to their own kids! How's about any "man" who is feeling sorry for himself because his "let-go" wife has transferred all her affection to these little love-pirate kids just man-up and take the kids out for a few hours every other day and do some work around the house to give his wife time for some exercise and "clean-up"? The guys these days who have become dads are all the biggest bunch of lame whiners around. Take responsibility for your family and their condition instead of complaining about it!

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Kim Bakehorn — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 14:29:42 GMT

Hey, you people are the ones who can't seem to figure out to do anything else with your lives besides reproduce. Over-populating and trashing the planet seems pretty short-sighted to me. Sadly, it's all about capitalism...hey, when did greed become a virtue?

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Christ T. — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 03:49:16 GMT

I don't understand why everyone is so upset by this commercial. We all know that Suave is one of the least-expensive hair care lines out there. Clearly, the commercial IS showing the many "roles" this woman is playing (Easter Bunny, trash taker-outer, etc.), and then showing that by using Suave (lower-end hair care), you can give yourself a boost.

I don't think the commercial is suggesting that women should spend a ton of time or money on their appearance - just the opposite. They get their message across with humor. I love this ad.

Mommy, can you do something about your hair?

Anne — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:23:19 GMT

Thomas Jefferson's advice to his children would benefit all newly-weds AND the long-marrieds: he said that it was important that BOTH parties continue to look good FOR EACH OTHER. It's as true now as it was in the 18th century, because human beings really haven't changed that much. It is natural to want to be appealing to your significant other. Maybe your version of appealing is less formal, as formal, or MORE formal than KA's version - it doesn't make hers wrong. But I think both husbands and wives do feel taken for granted, and as if they don't matter, if no effort is made to look pleasing. There's a lot to choose from between sweats and oversized T-shirts all the time, and nothing but designer wear. Male or female, to constantly look to your partner as if you are indifferent to how they see - well, it is part of human nature to perceive that as indifference itself. I don't see any reason to vilify KA because she makes other choices - no one lacking in self-confidence or self-respect becomes a software architect, no-one who shovels horse manure, never mind taking care of children, is afraid of getting dirty. If your choice isn't hers, then it isn't. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her choice. If you choose not to, well then, don't. But a lot of the attacks taste as if the fact that she chooses to make the effort is a reproach to those who choose differently. If it's OK for you not to dress up, well, it's certainly OK for anyone who wants to dress up to do so.